You can have a true friend who is, for the most part, virtual. I already knew this of course, but the point was brought home to me today. Literally brought home.
Julie Neidlinger and I met only one time, though we’ve shared many interactions online. She is a “blog friend.” I put scare quotes around that because I’m not so sure of the distinction anymore. Maybe we should just think of our “blog friends” or our “online friends” as friends.
Because if you define friendship as the state of loving another human being enough to put aside your needs, goals and agenda for their sake (which is sort of how my mentor described it), then the friendship of those we know via the virtual web can be every bit as genuine as that of our friends in the very real web of relationships that constitute our lives. We have no need for qualifiers anymore.
Today I received a large-ish flat parcel. Julie’s name was above the return address. Because it came today and because of what’s happened in my life recently I had an inkling of what was inside. With that in mind, I set it aside with a note instructing my wife not to open it until we were together. The moment came after dinner, just a few minutes ago.
Inside was a picture, a pencil rendering of this picture. For the second time in the space of seven days I’m stunned into teary-eyed silence by the kindness of a true friend.
Though it doesn’t even begin to express my gratitude… thank you, my friend.







9 comments
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November 17, 2007 at 12:48 am
Julie
(Thanks for letting me give.)
November 17, 2007 at 1:08 am
Gene Redlin
Well said and agreed.
I have many I feel closer to than some of my flesh and
blood friends. There may be a dynamic there we will only
understand in a long look at a rear view mirror.
November 17, 2007 at 11:41 am
beth
I have caught myself telling a story to Tim about “my friend so and so” and at the blank look in his eyes had to qualify, “I read their blog…” – but yeah, online friends are just as real (sometimes more so) as offline friends. And just as big a treasure.
November 17, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Gwynne
I agree…the quotes are not necessary. Friends come in all forms, but friends like Julie are rare, whether “real” or “virtual.”
November 18, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Stephen
One of my friends asked if we could still be ‘Internet friends’ after we had some disagreement earlier in the week. That puzzled me mightily, as other than my wife (my best friend), I don’t really have any non-Internet friends! My closest friends, you, Jerry, ‘Emma’, and a handful of others, ARE my friends!
(BTW, we patched it up, but I don’t consider him an ‘Internet friend’, I consider him a friend.)
November 18, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Stephen
p.s. Can you scan or photograph the picture?
November 18, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Stephen
p.s.s. Drawing, I mean. Not too much sleep last night.
November 18, 2007 at 4:36 pm
jvjannotti
Probably, but as you may recall, I left my digital camera at my parents’ place. Maybe I’ll ask Will if he can do the job for me.
November 19, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Stephen Shores
Oh yeah, that’s right. Well, never mind. :blush: